Death = Life
What thinking about death taught me about living life
I didn’t expect to find myself in this place. Thinking about death all the time.
I’m a former fashion journalist and current brand builder. Clothes used to dominate my head, not caskets. I’m a positive, optimistic person who mostly shies away from the dark. But surprisingly, the more I dove into reading about and talking about death the more inspired and uplifted I felt.
Given how much we as a society fear death, this was a new concept to me. I was someone who wanted to focus on living, not realizing that confronting death would actually bring me closer to life.
It wasn’t only the thought of supporting people at their most vulnerable, or that the death positive movement is truly helping people die better, but I’ve come to understand how keeping death in mind helps us live life to the fullest.
Contemplation of death reminded me what is important in life.
Thinking about our mortality regularly can help us focus on what matters most. This concept is core to Buddhist teachings that recognize death is inevitable and part of our lives. Buddhists advise daily reflection on our mortality as a way to focus on the meaning and opportunity of each moment throughout our lives. The fact that each day counts down is what makes each one a gift.
In his beautiful book, The Five Invitations, Frank Ostaseski shares, “We cannot be truly alive without maintaining an awareness of death. Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight. She helps us to discover what matters most.”
As I built comfort with death, my grief lightened too. It didn’t go away, but I was able to see it in a new way. That it really is a healthy and normal, albeit heartbreaking, part of life. We all die. Which means we will all lose people we love. Humans are built this way. And humankind is built to withstand the loss.
Remembering how precious life is can help us focus on how we want to spend our time. Giving us a renewed appreciation for each day and the most important people in our lives.
Through confronting death people often figure out, if not the singular meaning of life, what really matters after all.
-ALD
Recommended read:
The Five Invitations by Frank Ostaseski
